Alive but life has changed for me

I am Nicky and was diagnosed with Burkitt’s in March 2011. I will keep this simple. I had been sick 5 months before they found my mass, located in the center of my chest. I kept going back and forth to dr and er. They kept saying bronchitis, viral infection, bronchitis and laryngitis. I lost my voice and breathing was difficult I would cough in fits for hours too the point I was peeing my pants, lol. I can laugh now at that but and the time it was just horrible. Finally left work wheezing when I breathed, my dr told me to report to the ER. From that point on my life was forever changed. There was a mass in the center of chest 26 percent of my body. Paralyzed my voice chord, cutting off my trachea, pressing into my aorta. I live alone, my children grown adults. I went through six months if inpatient chemo therapy, hyper C VAD with rituxin. Emergency pulmonary and Thoracic teams went in for biopsy’s. I had multiple blood and platelet transfusions, port infections neutropenic fevers and spent about four plus months in the hospital. All this said I am two years out and still here. Thank you GOD, my Dr. Kuriakose, all my wonderful P2 nurses and my great son, niece and father. I now ask you too please help me as I have depression and feel very separate from the world. I have been back to work one year but have missed about five months ofthat . I cannot adjust back in very well, stress I cannot handle and feel very alone. I need a routine and too be at work . I had several clear scans but the last two shown activity in my neck. It’s still in the gray area as they say so that is good. I just feel like I am outside of the circle looking in at the world not knowing where I fit anymore.:(

 

Submitted by; Nicky